


Kokichi (& Alastor) in: Heathers (The Musical)

by orphan_account



Series: Kokichi's Magical Adventures in AU-dimension-verse [2]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: (kinda), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dimension Travel, I honestly dont care if I tagged the heathers + veronica's relationship right, Multi, No Smut, Rated M for M-Heathers, Time Travel, also only kokichi knows about alastor, and no Dead Girl Walking is not rape/non-con, appearance changes, be warned, but I will include some sound description, except yellow heather, fuck the heathers all my homies hate the heathers, half of the warnings are from heathers, jeez thats a lot of relationship tags, shes precious, so shhhhhhut up, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:07:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27661097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Oh boy, how amazing. Kokichi's golden gear sent him to the wrong fucking place, and now he has to deal with the radio pimp, all while dealing with all this highschool shit he already went through. And he appeared in front of the entire highschool in the middle of lunch. Kokichi thinks he recognizes the plot of this universe, though. Isn't Akira obsessed with this musical... Heathers? Oh well, no time for details. He has to make it through this highschool before he... dies. Wow. Kokichi forgot how dark this musical was.
Relationships: Heather Chandler & Oma Kokichi, Heather Duke & Oma Kokichi, Heather McNamara & Oma Kokichi, Jason "J. D." Dean & Heather Duke, Jason "J.D." Dean & Heather Chandler, Jason "J.D." Dean & Heather McNamara, Jason "J.D." Dean & Oma Kokichi, Jason "J.D." Dean & Ram Sweeney & Kurt Kelly, Jason "J.D." Dean/Veronica Sawyer, Kurt Kelly & Oma Kokichi, Kurt Kelly & Veronica Sawyer & Ram Sweeney, Oma Kokichi & Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Ram Sweeney & Oma Kokichi, Veronica Sawyer & Heather Chandler & Heather Duke & Heather McNamara, Veronica Sawyer & Oma Kokichi
Series: Kokichi's Magical Adventures in AU-dimension-verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019509
Kudos: 8





	1. A Portal in the Middle of Beauty

**Author's Note:**

> look at that  
> also no shiperoonis here, that's what the main series is for

As Kokichi jumps through the portal, spacetime seems to warp around him. He can see a blurry figure jump after him... radio pimp? Oh fuck...

No matter! Kokichi can't think of radio pimp right now, he has to visualize where he wants to go. Okay, okay. Akira... home... suburbia... huh, Akira kinda looks like a **highschooler** \- no! None of that, he has to focus! **Popcorn** , **movies** , **musicals**... Akira really likes musicals... **hot emos** \- wait no, Kokichi can't think of Shuichi like that. Shaking his head in the rip in spacetime, Kokichi briefly sees a slit open and close. _I must not be thinking of them hard enough._ So, what did he have? **Highschooler, popcorn, movies, musicals, hot emos** \- FUCK! Well, Kokichi could only hope the gear interpreted him correctly... and gave him some appropriate **clothing**... and **hid radio pimp if he came through with him**... oh wait! There! Another rip in spacetime! It looked... sort of like Akira's house! Fantastic! Kokichi immediately swam through the void of interdimensional travel, reaching through the portal and not realizing who followed him into it.

Kokichi popped through the portal, yawned, and stretched his arms out. "Tequila-chaaaaan, I'm home! You better apologize right now!~ Or I'm going to-" Kokichi immediately donned the worst nightmare face he could think of. "Whoop your motherfucking ass so hard you won't be able to feel anything for weeks." He immediately shifted back to charming and cutesy. "So you better be rea-" Only then did he notice he was in the middle of a group of highschoolers, and not, in fact, his darling Tequila-chan. "-dy..." Eyes darting around to observe every one of the openmouthed, gaping students, he noticed three girls in the back sporting red, green, and yellow respectively composing themselves once again. If Kokichi was were he suspected he was, he was in deep shit. After a quick glance behind him, Kokichi found it appropriate to say one thing and one thing only.

"FUCK YOU AKIRA-CHAN!" Kokichi pointed middle fingers to the sky. "YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT, _WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE HERE?!_ I literally JUST went to Hell, you SCUMBAG! Was it because I drenched you in maple syrup last Sunday, huuuuuuh?!?! Well too bad, next time it'll be FEATHERS and TAR, and you're going to be sorry for WEEKS you sack of brainless SHIT!" Kokichi pouted with a little "hmph" noise before backing into a corner and leaning against the wall.

Kokichi counted at least half an hour before a student spoke up, but that was probably just his endless boredom. "Um, are we going to address what just happened?" It was a girl in a blue blazer, sitting near what Kokichi was just going to call "the disaster trio." Kokichi guessed this was after the whole... shtick. If those three were the Heathers, he was going to flip his shit. Ooh, Akira was going to get SUCH a beating.

The girl in red spoke up. "Yeah, Ronnie, maybe how a FUCKING CHILD came out of a portal and cussed us out."

"Objection!" Kokichi yelled like he was in a Pheonix Wright game. He walked over to the girl in red's table and slammed his hands down on the table. "I'm not a FUCKING child, cum dumpster." Kokichi looked her dead in the eye and said it in a loud whisper. Multiple students surrounding their table gasped loudly.

The newly crowned cum dumpster snapped at them. "Shut up, peasants!" All the students shut their mouths immediately. Then she turned around to look at him. "You've got guts, new kid. Especially after coming out of a FUCKING portal. Tell me your name and I just might not crush you beneath my feet."

Kokichi sighed, and simply raised an eyebrow. "Why should I tell you, squidbreath?"

"If you want to survive one day in this school, bow down, kiss my feet, and spit your name out of your FUCKING mouth," cum dumpster snarled.

Kokichi smirked. "Kokichi Ouma. Pleasure to meet you. I see how you're leading your little..." Kokichi gestured to the students and then to the group of girls. "Harem, here." Squidbreath made an offended noise. "I'll show you how a real leader does it, soon enough. But for now, you tell me your name." Kokichi made a nightmare face and adopted a deep, slow voice. " **Or I'll rip out your bones one by one until all you have left is your skull, bleeding out on the floor for everyone to see.** "

Heather twitched just the slightest bit, then regained her composure. "Heather Chandler, demon queen of Westerburg High. I'm looking forward to seeing you try and dethrone me, demon boy."

Kokichi sharply transitioned to childish pouting. "Aw, Tequila-chan is such a meanie. Sending me here to a place like this." Kokichi burst out some crocodile tears. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I F-FEEL S-SO- _sniff_ SAAAAAAAAD!" As Heather Yellow Version (tm) reached out to assist him, Kokichi immediately dried up the crocodile tears. "O-kay! I feel a lot better now!" Kokichi smiled very widely and reached out a hand to Heather Chandler. "I have a feeling we'll get along just great!~"


	2. Fuck, I Ruined the Plot by Existing!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi’s already messed up the plot beyond repair by existing, but can he fix his mistakes? (The answer is no, absolutely not. He is the definition of clusterfuck in human form.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy me updating after like a week :)

Heather simply looked at the hand and scoffed. “Sorry _sweetie_ , but I don’t touch horse shit.” She turned her head, as if looking down at Kokichi. Which she was, because Kokichi was a fucking midget.

 _Goddamn me, and my, fucking..._ Kokichi snorted. _Five foot one. What the fuck? How was anybody intimidated by my nightmare faces or my claims of being the mastermind? I’m literally five foot one, someone could just put me on their shoulders and keep me there forever. This is fucking ridiculous._ Kokichi covered his hand with his mouth and poorly tried to veil a laugh. _Oh fuck, right, it’s gonna look like I laughed at Chandler. Welp, guess I gotta play this off the best and Kokichi-est way I can._ “Oh yeah, that’s real rich coming from you, Chandelier-chan.” Kokichi laughed. “Why does anyone even respect you? You look like some kinda walking gimmick straight out of an 80’s sitcom.”

Heather stared at Kokichi. “Are you a dumb fuck or are you a dumb fuck, because this is the 80’s.”

“Yeah, of course he’s a dumb f-” Heather Duke started.

“Shut up Heather!” Heather Chandler retorted.

“Sorry Heather...” Heather Duke responded.

Kokichi couldn’t help himself, he just had to. The comedic timing was gold, and who was he to pass something up like that? So Kokichi cleared his throat, and did his best Heather McNamara impression - which was pretty damn good. “Look who’s with her! Oh my god. Dang dang diggety dang-a-dang~ dang dang diggety dang-a-dang~” he sang. Then Kokichi giggled in the back of his hand, desperately trying to smother his laughter at the looks the Heathers had on their faces.

Heather Chandler (the almighty) looked down at Kokichi. “Whatever, portal kid. Guess what? I’m the ruler around here, and YOU are decidedly not. Have a fun time here in hell!” She smiled “sweetly” and walked off with most of her posse, sans Veronica who stopped to look at Kokichi, but scurried back into line after Heather Chandelier (Kokichi inwardly snickered) called her back. Some of the boys had their eyes glued onto the Heathers as they left, but most of the school was just left staring at Kokichi, who laughed maniacally.

”I suppose there’s a power vacuum to fill, isn’t there?!”

**———Meanwhile...———**

Veronica was awfully curious of “portal kid” or “horse shit,” as Chandler called him. Who had the guts in the entirety of Westerburg to walk up to the mythic bitch’s face and spit in it? Well, metaphorically, anyway. She... admired him a bit. It was pretty cool, and Veronica couldn’t help but look back at Kokichi, studying him for a few seconds before Chandler called her back into line. Maybe she could hang with him sometime...

”Veronica! Stop staring off into space and get forging!” Silently, Veronica returned to her work, thinking about portal kid the whole way. Something about hanging out with him just seemed... appealing...

**———Meanwhile...———**

Kokichi was busy indoctrinating some “rebellious” kids into N.D.I.C.E (New D.I.C.E, because he could never forget the originals), and nearly jumped straight up into the air when something poked his shoulder. But Kokichi didn’t, because he was Kokichi Ouma, escapee of his fictional universe, and he could kick anyone’s ass. Except for that dragon’s, maybe, but THE DRAGON WAS AN EXCEPTION! He was forcefully removed from that battle, goddamnit! _Why am I arguing with myself?_ Kokichi asked himself in his thoughts. _Who fucking cares, you need an outlet for all this debate, and Tequila-chan (the bastard) sure isn’t here to fill it! So get arguing while you recruit these mindless fuckboys and girls! Yeah... fuckboys... like JD... wait am I talking to JD right now?_ Kokichi looked up to see who he was talking to. It was decidedly not JD. He breathed a small sigh of relief and went back to indoctrinating.

When Kokichi was finally done indoctrinating all those mindless bastards into his ~~gang~~ (they didn’t deserve to be N.D.I.C.E, they were too mindless and of little attachment to him) cult, and realizing how many goddamn “uniforms” he was gonna have to sew, he groaned. Then he realized he did not have a house, nor a sewing machine, nor any fabric, which made him extremely depressed because he wouldn’t be able to control everybody in that damn school fast enough. Kokichi just shrugged and figured he would kick some poor man out of his house and claim it as his own, or search for an abandoned house, or just live on the streets, which he was used to anyway. THEN Kokichi realized he had no cash on him, and he would have to make money somehow, which is how Kokichi ended up in a 7-11, looking for job applications and/or a quick way to relieve some poor fools of their wallets.

After Kokichi had grabbed about eight wallets full of cash, he decided he could treat himself to something. _Maybe some soda? Do they sell grape panta here? Well, I was told it’s apparently grape fanta, but fuck that. Wait, can I even find that in Sherwood, Ohio? Do they even sell grape fanta here??? Fucking degenerates. If not, I guess I’ll get a slushie, those are still pretty good... I’d have to get a Slurpee, right? Ah, I don’t even know anymore... oh look! There’s another poor sap whose wallet is just BEGGING to be stolen! Well, it’s really just a wad of cash in a pocket, but I’ll take it!_ In Kokichi’s mad rush to gain cash, he didn’t even notice whose cash he was stealing, and he ended up getting caught in the act. Not by the 7-11 employee, who looked half-asleep, but the “poor sap.” 

“Well, well, well, we got a pickpocket on our hands, now do we?” The stranger lifted Kokichi into the air by the back of his shirt, Kokichi just rolling his eyes. _I can’t believe I got caught by this bitch. He looks like a hobo off the street. Who wears trench coats?_

“Yeah, sure, I got caught. Congrats, you got me.”

The stranger scoffed, his fingerless black gloves more visible than ever. “Must be pretty terrible for me to have caught you that easily.”

Kokichi made an offended sound. “Excuse me? I’ll have you know I am top of my class in pickpocketing. I’ve stolen many a wallet, and swished away smartphones worth thousands.”

Then the stranger’s trench coat ruffled a bit and they raised an eyebrow. “Smartphones? Do you mean telephones? You can’t steal those, they’re attached to the wall. I doubt you could steal an entire telephone line if you tried.”

Kokichi looked at the stranger’s trench coat a bit more, realizing what time period he was in. _That trench coat looks familiar... wait. Trench coat. Trench... coat... 7-11... oh fuck._ “Well, yeah, okay, maybe not phones, but yeah, I’ve stolen A LOT of things.” Kokichi smiles pridefully, silently praying to whatever holy lord was out there that he wouldn’t die by JD’s hands. _That would be awfully anticlimactic. I arrive in this universe, I go to fish people’s wallet out of their hands and into mine, and then I immediately die to some psycho teen with mental health issues for trying to make a quick buck. That’d be depressing._ “Whatever, just let me go buy some grape fanta.”

JD raised an eyebrow. “They don’t have that here. They do have Grape Fanta slushies.”

Kokichi screeched, “FUCK!” at the top of his lungs. “Guess I’ll have a goddamn slushie. GOD, this 7-11 is SO FUCKING uncultured.” Kokichi hopped out of JD’s hands as if he could’ve done it at any moment, and smoothly slid up to the cashier, tossing them a five dollar bill and grabbing a large cup, lid, and a straw. Tossing it cleanly to his right hand, Kokichi slid the slushie under the slushie machine and silently pressed the button, waiting for it to nearly spill over the sides before closing the top of the slushie, slowly walking over to JD, raising the straw to his lips, and sipped it up in record speed, surely getting a brain freeze and tossing it into the bin without even looking. Somehow, it landed in the bin as JD just stared at Kokichi.

Kokichi was still grumbling angrily. “Fucking 7-11, not having grape fanta but having the grape fanta flavor of slushies. That was SO much worse than the actual thing. I don’t like the feeling of cold quite as much as carbonation...”

“What the fuck did you just do?” JD asked, dumbfounded.

Kokichi cleared his throat, and spoke in an old British drawl. “That, my dear fellow, is called speed-slurping.” 

However, neither Kokichi, JD, or the cashier noticed the shadows warping and moving in the background...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally come in here with no thoughts and come out with a kind of chapter. Yay!

**Author's Note:**

> i honestly have no idea how many chapters this will be. next work in this series will also be a musical, so skip out on that if you don't like musicals
> 
> i also hc that nagito, byakuya, and kokichi know each other in game so there will be minor references to them


End file.
